Except here's my problem.
So often, when biblical manhood and womanhood are preached or discussed, it follows this general order of points.
- Explain God's plan for His creation and gender differences.
- Back up to Adam and Eve and show how every basic struggle that each gender has stemmed from what happened in the Garden.
- Compare God's plan with how the world has corrupted it (i.e. chauvinism, passivity, feminism)
- Reinforce what biblical manhood means and how someone would practically apply those truths and strive towards those principles.
- Explain what biblical womanhood is in terms of how a woman helps a biblical man, or men in the context of the Church.
It's that last bit that bothers me. Biblical womanhood should be defined in terms other than what it means in relation to masculine leadership. Yes, that is our role, but that's like saying that football is just big steroid abusers fighting over which plot of grass a dead pig gets to go, or that music is just sound. A woman is not just a helper, not just a one-sided character trait. If she was, why would God bother? If biblical manhood means being courageous and active in every aspect of life, leading themselves and their families, being selfless in loving one woman, following God with fervor... what is biblical womanhood? What traits do God want me to grow in?
The plan for woman is God's doing, so His Word will outline it best. In compilation of all sorts of verses, a biblical woman...
Works. Whether this be at home or at a career, a woman is meant to work. I think that being a housewife is a wonderful thing that I aspire to myself, but if I'm not working at home, then what's the point? No good is being done by my staying at home if I spend the whole day on the internet or gossiping with friends or flipping through fashion magazines or shopping aimlessly. Paul writes to Titus that women should work at home. To me, this doesn't mean that they have to stay at home - they can have careers and be successful at them! - but that they realize that their primary responsibility is to their family and that that job is most important. I think that even the most feminist of women would agree that, if you have a family, they come first. As a single woman, I can grow in this by not wasting time and by viewing the church as my family - because, really, it is.
Clever. I'm not saying that I'm not naive from time to time, but why do so many women play the fool, especially in hopes that it will catch the attention of some man? Abigail, Esther, Ruth... these women were witty, even shrewd in a way! Women should be alert, level-headed, creative in their problem solving, aware of what's going on around them. Being an airhead is never attractive.
Beautiful. God made beauty, and it was good! But, like any one of God's gifts, it can be and often is corrupted. Beauty isn't skin deep - good looks are. Beauty comes from wisdom, purpose, generosity, kindness, love, good works...
Pure. Purity is all too often used to describe sexual activity - which is fine and applicable, but it's so much more. If women are going to say that chivalry is dead, then we have to admit that modesty is too. We should dress like ladies, not girls, and we should think like them too. Lusting over Patrick Dempsey, as natural as it may seem to do, isn't right. In the same steam, if you're in a relationship, lusting over that man isn't helping matters either. Until he is yours, ring and all, God wants us to keep our thoughts in check. After you're married, it's not lusting anymore anyways! Another facet of purity is what comes out of the mouth. There is nothing pure in swearing, gossiping, bickering, fighting, etc. Women are prone to gossip because we are extremely relational creatures. But why? Why do we talk about others? Let's talk about politics! They're all shot to crap anyways!!
Self-Controlled. A person who has control over themselves are typically not loud, boisterous, manipulative, nagging, cynical, or angry. They don't insist on things going their way or being right. They don't flirt. They aren't trapped in sinful habits, or at least they're fighting them. That's really all that needs to be said about that.
Loving. I firmly believe that women have been blessed with the gift of loving others with ferocity and devotion. We care about others to an extent that men don't necessarily. This gives us a head start in our attempts at loving others like Jesus loves us - without restraints, without rules, without end.
Leaders. Wait - what? Did I say that? Yes. It's not just the men that have the call to be leaders, but women too. I know so many women that are strong leaders and have done incredible things with their gifts. The crux of it is that we have to submit our leadership. This may rub us the wrong way, but when you think about it, shouldn't that be what we're doing anyways? Doesn't our leadership fall under God's authority regardless? If there is a husband in our lives, we're supposed to respect them in the same way that we respect God and submit our leadership to them. This bothered me a lot at first, but one thing that I have learned through my relationship with Keith is that no matter how strong of a leader I am, as a woman, there is a freedom in coming under the leadership of another. Under his leadership, I can become a better leader myself in my venues.
Encourages. The word used to describe the role of woman - paraclete - is the same word used to describe the role of the Holy Spirit. It means one who consoles or comforts, one who encourages or uplifts, one who refreshes, helper. Just because the role is submissive in no way means that it is secondary or less important. The Church would be nothing without the Holy Spirit. The Trinity would not exist. The role of an encourager and helper is absolutely and completely important.
Serves. God has given each woman a set of gifts, unique and powerful, and there is incredible creativity in how those can serve others. This is what I find most inspiring. I have some incredibly strong women in my life, and watching how they submit to their husbands but also use their gifts and leadership skills to serve is something that I aspire to and find encouraging. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I can't help inner city kids, or run a women's/youth ministry, or what have you!
So there. To the best of my understanding, that's my take on what God meant a woman to be. Those are applicable traits, things that I can work on and grow in with or without a man. Biblical men and women are designed to serve together and complement each other, but they are not meant to be defined by each other. We are meant to be defined by what God wants for us.
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