I love the man, though. I love him. There is so much truth and emotion behind those three words.
Gah, I feel a wave of gushy-ness coming on, and I'm going to spare you and dam it up before it goes.
We've been dating for a year as of today. It feels like it's both been a lot longer than that and not near that long at the same time. It feels like its been longer because everyone in the realm of my life seems to have seen this coming long before it actually happened, and because I've grown a ton throughout the relationship. So has the relationship itself. Looking back at who we were and how we interacted a year ago, a lot has changed, and that's a good thing. At the same time, it doesn't seem like its been a year because of a few reasons. One, based on my past experiences, we should have had at least twelve epic fights and I should have almost broken up with him about four times and then there's the list of mistakes that should've been made by now... and none of that has happened. I mean, we've had a few arguments, but... we get along. He's my best friend. We love each other the way two people are supposed to love each other, so there's respect. God's leading us, so all of our choices come back to Him. It's been so much smoother than I remember a year of a relationship ever being... I think it also feels like it's been so short because of the distance. No, forty-five minutes isn't far, but it takes a toll, and my schedule is a mess regardless. And we're always distanced. I don't get to be with him for all of summer, or all of the school year, one of the two being how most collegiate long-distance relationships go. We're always apart. And really, that's been a good thing. Our communication skills would not be near as strong otherwise.
This year, our anniversary is also Father's Day. Dang it. So, I'm going to head to St. Joseph after church and there'll be a big family get-together with his dad's side that we'll be at. And apparently Keith had something more extravagant planned, because I got a call from him yesterday saying...
HIM: Can we have two anniversaries?
ME: ... ... ...come again?
H: Well, it's just that Father's Day is kind of taking away a good chunk of the day and so my idea is, and you might hate this, but we'll celebrate tomorrow but keep it kind of casual, and then we'll have the real party of a celebration on a different day, when I'm done with clinicals and such.
M: *laughing* A party?
H: Yeah! And an after-party too, if I do this right.
Okay, I want to zoom in to this last part. He said that, and then after I said something about how he didn't have to do anything extravagant, or anything at all really (although if he chose that option, I'd be a little sad), he replied that he'd been waiting to do this for a while. And that, honestly, he was really nervous about it. Why?, I asked. Because it was something that he knew I'd wanted and he doesn't want to screw it up. He wanted to make me happy.
I'm pulling the same mistake I made at Christmas when I thought my Christmas gift was going to be an engagement ring. But now we're much closer to the part in our timeline (we've discussed what would practically work taking college and then jobs into consideration) where he could pop the question, and when I couple everything that he said with a party/after-party scheme with the fact that I have no idea where he was last night with...
NOOOOOO.
I need to stop this because whatever he has planned is something that he's excited about and is probably super sweet and I am NOT going to ruin it by jumping to stupid conclusions. It'll happen when it happens. And it'll be perfect and just like it was plucked out of a novel. I just know it.
There. I have written out my thoughts, and they are outside of my head and on this screen, and now you're reading them, so I have one more thing to ask.
Pray for my poor little heart that is trying soooooo hard to keep her defenses up.
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