The Plans I Have For You.

There are some things in which if we are content with the status quot, we're selling ourselves short; things like heaven, justice, equality, holiness, etc. If I'm satisfied with the current state of things, then I'd have a very narrow perspective on who God is. I'm designed to yearn for them. There are other things, though, that I should be content with. Like the phone that I have. The clothes that I have. The musical things that I have. Namely my possessions or lack thereof.

"Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content." 1 Timothy 6:6-8

Food and clothing. That's really the fullest extent of necessary possessions. Sure, I might want an iPhone and a guitar and new jeans (this may soon become a necessity) and so on, but what I need is a secure trust and contentment in the provision of God. As long as I keep my eyes focused on Him, He's going to take care of me. Money will worry about itself. I'll have the food and clothing that I need. Heck, I'll probably even have a roof over my head.

There's environmental contentment and then there's situational contentment. It's this second one that I struggle the most with. Patience is a virtue that God can only cultivate in me through... making me wait. I want to get out of college, I want to start my teaching career, I want Keith to propose, I want to head off to a city, I want the next chapter of my life so badly that it hurts. I know it's not going to be easier, out there in the "real world". It'll be harder. I get that. But I want that struggle, I want that adventure, I want my routine to be shaken up. And... none of that can happen right now. Right now, I'm a college student. Right now, I still have a semester of rigamarole and hoops to jump through, and then a semester of student teaching after that. Right now, I'm in Maryville which isn't anything like a city. Right now, I'm waiting patiently and trusting Keith's judgement. Right now, I'm WAITING. I'm waiting and going through all of the motions necessary to get out of the waiting. Am I content? Not at all.

And why should I be? Am I really going to gain anything from being content? I'm going to have to wait whether I like it or not, so do I have to be okay with it? Paul says that there is gain from godly contentment. What would that be? His plan. God has handcrafted a timeline, an adventure, a series of events specifically for me, and if I jump the gun because I'm discontent and impatient, I'll miss out on pieces of that. There's a reason I'm waiting, there's character molding happening, and I need that. I don't want to skip over times that are going to shape the woman I was designed to be.

Instead of searching so hard for the end of this tunnel, I need to be searching out what God's wanting me to learn while I'm in here.